My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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