Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
