he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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