Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Even my vagina gasped.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
