my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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