did you get engaged???
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
