Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
