i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
