No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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