And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
