We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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