I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
soo... how was my night?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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