Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
