Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
