hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
