youre lurking in front of me
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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