Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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