I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
is wine microwaveable?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Randomize
