So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
