bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
