im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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