i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
