Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Randomize
