First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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