i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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