I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize