You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize