you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
