pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
