I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
