Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
