Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
