She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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