: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
