so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
