She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
