i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
3pm strippers are depressing
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Randomize
