The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
