I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
