Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
should my penis look like a turkey
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
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