Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
My dad just said "fuck circus"
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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