Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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