Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
