What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
