All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Randomize
