Got a toothbrush?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
