hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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