dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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