I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
