Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
this is an emotional support booty call
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
