forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
