my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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