I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
how does that bad decision feel?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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