Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
