My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
