I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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