He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize