Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
