I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
