thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
