We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
