Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i drank out of a bidet.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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