5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
