so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
