I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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